Wednesday, March 16, 2011

I {Heart} My Husband

Sunday night we had an unexpected thing happen. When an asthma inhaler gone wrong incident occurred that sent my husband's heart into irregular palpitations and a rapid heartbeat of 198 bpm, we decided that going to the ER was a good choice. Here we were at 3 in the morning, sleepy baby in tow....heading to the ER. I'm sure we were a sight walking in going this way and that, morning breath, and confused looks on our faces.

After about 6 hours in the ER with meds given to reduce his heart rate, he was sent to the cardiology floor where they could monitor him. He was diagnosed with having Atrial Fibrillation, which basically means that the top part the heart is fluttering while the bottom part of the heart is beating as normal. This can put someone at risk of forming blood clots in the heart if it persists. Scary!

After awhile, his heart rhythm did return to normal, so he was no longer at risk. Thank you Lord! He did stay overnight so they could run some additional tests and monitor him, but he really was so much better after his heart rate returned to normal. It was such a weird thing though....sort of an out of body experience to see him go through all that. Especially in the ER when he looked so pale and worried. And me, well, I was letting my mind get the better of me and thinking of the worst possible scenario that he was going to die and leave me alone with the baby to raise him on my own. That evening (before it all happened) we had even had a really good talk about parenting, had both said our "I love yous" before going to bed and were totally on the same page. My thought while I was driving us on our way to the ER was, "well if that had to be our last evening together, at least it was a good one." Isn't that awful? Isn't it strange how our brains take over, or really our fears take over to lead us to think such thoughts?

I can't imagine my life without Matthew. I love him so much! We fit together so well, are on the same track about so many things, and are so much apart of eachother. I could never ever ever find anyone else as good for me as he is and I never want to. He's my companion, knows me in and out, and has experienced my life with me. He's in my past, my present, and my future. We've gone through some really tough stuff tough together including losing a baby...and now we're raising our son Cole, together. Nobody knows you like your spouse does except God. And IF, God forbid, something should happen to Matthew before me, then I know God will be there for me in that time. But for now, I don't want to imagine what that would be like.

Now that we're back home now, this little incident has definitely made me appreciate him all the more and not want to take things for granted, not him...or anyone. Each day is a blessing and a gift. Each night that I get to lay next to my husband in bed is a gift. Each day that I get to spend time with our sweet son is a treasure, not to be taken lightly.

I waste a lot of time worrying about things that don't matter, being upset at people that I just need to forgive and love or fussing at Matthew for things that don't matter in the scope of all eternity. Life is precious, time is short, and I want to take advantage of every moment I have.

Please Lord, remind me of this lesson I've learned....every. single. day.




{This pic is for Glo}

{Sweet, tired baby that never fussed
at all in the ER}

{Finally in a room}

{Feeling better!}

{Our 4 Mo. old Punkin ;0) }



Ginger@cottageonrosewood said...

How scary. I'm so glad to hear it all worked out ok. Things like that always have to happen in the middle of the night. Can't happen when your awake and coherent with fresh breath and good hair! That little one is growing for sure! What a trooper.

Brittany Lauren said...

I have those panicking "what if" thoughts alot too - thinking of life without Jeremy scares me! But it is good to remind myself that God knows each of us and won't give us more than we can deal with, and in the meantime, to treasure each moment rather than worrying about the future. Thanks for the reminder!

Gloria said...